Everyone loves the holidays. The twinkling lights, the sounds of ripping into wrapping paper, the smells and tastes of indulgent foods. The mix of nostalgia for years past combined with the promise of a new year. However, as the confetti settles on New Year’s Eve, the trash collectors have cleared the last of the holiday refuse and remnants of the season, January’s quiet descends. Many couples face not just resolutions, but reckonings. Holidays evoke joy, yet for those on the edge, these moments often inspire one final push, a last grasp at rekindling more than just the holiday Yule log. No one wants to disrupt these rituals with talk of separation; instead, they delay, hoping shared traditions and a happy holiday season might just repair what’s worn.
While the decorations come down and the champagne wears off, unresolved tensions resurface. If the hoped-for magic fades, decisions and emotions sharpen. For family lawyers, January arrives not with fresh resolve, but with a flood of divorce petitions and new conversations. Sometimes referred to as “Divorce Month,” January marks a predictable surge in filings, as if the calendar itself flips a switch on suppressed tensions. Having practiced family law for over a decade, I’ve observed divorce filings ebb and flow with the calendar. Some years back, sociologists Julie Brines and Brian Serafini from University of Washington analyzed Washington state data from 2001 to 2015, revealing consistent spikes in March and August, post-winter and summer holidays. This “domestic ritual calendar” shows couples often defer action to maintain unity’s facade. In my experience, filings drop from November through December, then surge in January as consultations book up quickly and can be hard to come by. Formal petitions peak later, closer to March, which aligns with the Washington study.
Ultimately, it seems that holidays don’t just delay but amplify already strained relationships. Expectations clash with reality. Many Americans report severe holiday anxiety or depression from unmet ideals. For couples, this mismatch fuels resentment, while one spouse envisions a Hallmark moment, the other views it as simply surviving the time. Society peddles flawless gatherings and postcard worthy celebrations, but that is usually not the case. There’s the emotional undercurrent. Fatigue from overscheduling erodes intimacy. Irritability flares over trivialities. Past issues resurface bringing unresolved grief and old arguments, all intensified by the season’s emphasis on “togetherness”. Financial pressures escalate. Between the costs of gifts, travel, and entertaining, budgets become battlefields, especially for couples already at odds over money. Family dynamics expose additional grievances, whether it’s an in-laws’ barbs, uneven holiday labor, or logistics of spending holiday time with either spouse’s family. For parents, the drive to create “perfect” memories heightens exhaustion, particularly in affluent families where grand gestures mask deeper emotional debts. Parents may bear a disproportionate load and are far more likely to feel stressed during festivities. Add in the parties, drinking, and desire to hide the truth of the struggles from everyone else, and the stress only increases.
Holiday vacations and escapes promise relief but often deliver feelings of confinement, exposing incompatibilities over the long hours actually spent together. For a strained marriage, it’s a tipping point.
Have you ever delayed a tough talk, buoyed by holiday optimism, only to emerge more resolved? Or found a trip’s end clarifying what routine obscures? These patterns invite reflection. The timing isn’t random; it’s tied to societal scripts valuing harmony in “happy” seasons.
Yet this seasonal discord need not lead only to endings. While it’s true that holidays can highlight flaws, the glimmer and shine of holiday lights may also allow the positive aspects of a troubled marriage to once again sparkle. Before filing, consider alternatives. Options include therapy to rebuild communication. There is always the possibility of entering into a post-nuptial agreement to address financial imbalances or make a concerted effort to manage an agreeable outcome and smooth an equitable path forward if the effort to salvage the marriage fails. Many couples weather the holidays and emerge stronger, blending emotional tools like mindfulness with legal foresight.
Rushing to file post-holidays often stems from raw emotion, but quality family law counsel underscores the long game. Divorce is a marathon of assets, custody, and healing, not a sprint. Evidence suggests pauses can pay off. Couples who navigate one tough holiday season often find footing for the next, blending legal savvy (e.g., consulting quietly pre-filing) with emotional tools like mindfulness apps or boundary-setting.
In the end, the holiday hangover reveals not just cracks, but capacities. As the new year dawns, will you file papers or forge paths? As a family lawyer, I’ve guided clients through these cycles with empathy and strategy. Divorce, when needed, fosters growth, but exploring options first often yields better outcomes. If this resonates—if you’ve glimpsed your own holiday highs and lows here—reach out. Let’s discuss what fits your story: renewal, resolution, or something in between.
About the Author
Ross E. Schulman is a highly rated family law and estate planning attorney at Woodward, Pires & Lombardo, P.A. in Naples, Florida. He is licensed to practice law in Florida and New York as a Certified Financial Litigator (CFL™). Ross’ Juris Doctorate is from the Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law / Yeshiva University. He recently completed the University of Miami School of Law, Heckerling Graduate Program Estate Planning, with a Master of Laws in Estate Planning, LL.M.
Before becoming a lawyer, Ross worked in finance and gained strong negotiation skills while working on Wall Street. He traded financial products at Spear Leeds & Kellogg (later Goldman Sachs) and Bear Stearns. He also worked as a financial advisor at Morgan Stanley, where he gained extensive knowledge about asset classes and various financial products. Ross is highly qualified to help you handle a variety of legal issues.